I Meme Long Time Ago...

...I was honored to be asked to do this meme, so here we go!

Five Things I will do before I die:
1. Yell "OH CRAP! I'M GOING TO DIE!!!"
2. Crap my pants.
3...

Wait, wait...that's not what the question is asking! Ok, ok...let me start over...

Five Things I will do before I die:
1. Run a sub-20 minute 5K.
2. Compete in a ballroom dancing competition.
3. Write a really, really good thinky thoughts book.
4. Create a beautiful home in the country.
5. Make pottery on a wheel.

Five Things I say most often: (honesty, right?)
1. "I'm sorry!"
2. "Only if you want to."
3. "...the restoration, the healing of God's creation!"
4. "Yeah, yeah" (sounds like ya-ya)
5. "Tell me something interesting."

Five Things I cannot do:
1. Be convincingly deceitful.
2. A Triple Salcow
3. Date people to see if I want to marry them (people consumption).
4. Give up.
5. Tie a knot in a cherry stem with my tongue.

Five Things I can do:
1. Hot Passionate Kissing! (Even if I can't tie that damn cherry stem with my tongue!)
2. Change the oil in a car / change a flat on a car.
3. Make a mud house (I did it before in Mexico!)
4. Anything to do with flowers.
5. Make a campfire and toast marshmellows without burning them! (Thanks Captain Wow!)

Five Things that attract me to other people:
1. Meaty conversations including vulerability, humility and fearlessness.
2. A sense of equality and respect towards others.
3. Good hands.
4. Honesty.
5. I'm really attracted to people who are attracted to me!

Five Celebrity Crushes:
1. MacGyver. (Always and Forever!)
2. Toby McGuire
3. Will Smith
4. Afleet Alex
5. Tommy Lee Jones (Especially in The Fugitive)

Five People who I'd like to see do this:
1. Cold Yellow, Boston Edition
2. The Pickle-O's
3. St. Doppleganger
4. Kim
5. Steve

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/30/2005 06:27:00 PM | (0) comments

Top Ten Headless Slogans

(Inspired by Reverend Mommy's Post. Powered by The Sloganizer.)






10. Think Once, Think Twice, Think Headless. (Think, damit! Think!)

9. You're in Good Hands with Headless.

8. Keep That Headless Complexion.

7. Semper Headless.

6. Don't Be Vague. Ask for Headless.

5. Wouldn't You Rather Be Headless?

4. Simple Impartial Headless.

3. The Headless is Mightier than the Sword.

2. An Army Of Headless.

And the number one Headless Slogan...drumroll.....
.
.
.
.
.
1. "I Wish They All Could Be Headless Girls. "

Yeah Baby!

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/30/2005 06:02:00 PM | (0) comments

The Real Deal

I get short little email notices about horses that I like that have worked out and such.


You remember Afleet Alex, don't you? Well, he fractured his leg a couple of months ago and underwent surgery to remedy the problem. He missed the Travers Stakes and the Haskell Invitational - the two last big races left in the season for three year olds only. It was very sad.

I was very sad.

Well today I got this email...


This notice is to inform you that one or more of your horses has worked out.

Afleet Alex

Date: September 30, 2005 Track: BELMONT PARK Distance: Five Furlongs Time: 59:85 Handily Track Condition: Fast Surface: Dirt Rank: 1/8

Let me translate...
















To read what the horsepeople are saying, click here.

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/30/2005 05:29:00 PM | (0) comments

Saint Headless

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/27/2005 09:54:00 AM | (0) comments

Babies!

I love this time of year for many reasons. One of those reasons can be seen below...

Yes, the babies are out - and sometimes out of control. This is a picture of 2-year-old Private Vow ridden by Jerry Bailey and 2-year-old Disco's Son ridden by...no one. Disco's Son stumbled at the gate, unseating his jockey. Dead last out of the gate, he sprinted to the lead and ran way out ahead of the field. Turning for home, the other horses began to pounce but when Private Vow shook free of the rest of the "jockey-ed" field by eight lengths, he found there was still one horse who wouldn't let him pass. Disco's Son stayed right with him all the way to the finish line.

True, Private Vow was carrying the weight of a jockey and true, Private Vow did an outstanding job. But let's hear it for the little horse who nearly fell at the start, sprinted through the first part of the race and cowboyed up when he should have thrown in the towel...all because he loves to run.

Woop!

(Watch the race here - click video, then chose "Belmont Futurity")

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/19/2005 12:01:00 AM | (2) comments

Caron's Club Continued

I said I would keep you up-to-date on the DA Carson book club and have not done a good job. I could give excuses, but really, excuses don't become me...

So here it is, my half-way through the book, half-baked opinion: DA Carson has set up a straw man to beat down in order to fling burning marshmellows at a group of people who have made him and others feel bad about a system of church that is popularly referred to as "modern."

(Havn't you always thought what an amazing medievel weapon burning marshmellows from a catapult would have been?)

At the halfway point, he has spent most of the "named topic" part of the book splitting hairs over definitions and such. While hair splitting has it's place, I find myself wondering when he actually is going to get to the point. In other words, instead fussing over whether or not "modern" is a good label for churches other than Emergent (perhaps a valid point on Carson's side), why not deal with the ways Emergent is trying to be different than Whomever-Else-Is-Out-There.

I'm sure Carson will get to that, but it is laborious waiting for him!

And in the mean time, he is taking pot shots at Emergent and not being clear about what is postmodern and what is Emergent.

That in fact is my biggest deal with Carson to present. Unless you are a careful reader, you will think that Emergent and postmodern is the same thing. And sometimes, even the careful reader cannot see where Carson has clarified Emergent from postmodern.

But on the good side, this book will force Emergent to form an identity, which it seems to have largely lacked since it's formation. I say that, though suppose they (Emergent) could continue to resist identity formation but I believe that would be the death of them as a movement. Of course, death or no, the lingering affects of Emergent on the church will flavor our development for decades.

I find myself in such a peculiar situation for I do not consider myself Emergent yet I feel obligated to defend them. Why I am not Emergent? Number one reason - they have no identity and I am hesitant to throw my hat in the ring when I know not what shall emerge from the curtains - prancing ponies or lions, tigers and bears?

Secondly, I hate labels. They have a usefulness, but in this fragmenting society, I cannot bear them. Hating labels, I am told, makes me Emergent, but of course I cannot accept it.

Incidentally, I can certainly appreciate Carson even if I think he's mostly just got his feelings hurt. He is right that Emergent has not always been kind to the "modern" church. What is ironic is that Emergent is criticizing the very thing it is doing. How many times have I heard that the modern church is a marriage of the American Marketing Machine and Christianity? And yet, I know Emergent is also a marriage of culture and Christianity. What is sad is that apparently the church continues to operate approxiamtely 30 years behind the culture. "Seeker-Friendly" Modern Church married to the American Marketing Machine was a movement occuring on the tail end of our friendliness with marketing. Likewise, from all the lips of all the smart people out there, postmodernity is over and now we are post-postmodern.

Whatever.

Blindness is common disease. And I sure as hell can't tell what's going on.

Another jewel from Carson was a statement he made about tolerance. He made reference to the quote "I may disagree with you hartily, but I will fight to the death to defend your right to say that which I disagree with." His point was that in times past, tolerance was seen not as a "you're ok, I'm ok" situation, but as a very real disagreement within the context of a commitment to expression.

Fundamental to this "old-world tolerance" was the belief (I'm speaking now, not Carson) in a "market place of ideas." The idea, of course, being that if all ideas competed on equal footing, the Truth would win out. You can see, of course, the humanistic underpinnings of this belief.

"People will chose rightly if given all the information."

I used to believe that too, but not so much anymore.

Still, I like the market place of ideas. I like to be there. I believe there is a TON of value in the concept and I believe there is accuracy in description, limited that it may be. Though there are some people (or some parts of all of us) who prefer lies over Truth, there are others who are seeking. I am seeking, always.

So Carson is right to level this argument at the popular use of the word "tolerance." I don't "agree to disagree" because I think Truth is really important and not something to cop out of. However, I think disagreeing is the process of coming to agreement. We have to stick it out. We have to grapple with it.

At least, the Church who claims there is Truth must do so.

So there.

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/18/2005 11:10:00 PM | (0) comments

Too Much Bling!

My favorite 2 year old this year - Too Much Bling! How great is that?!! How can you not love a horse named Too Much Bling? You do! Of course you do!

If I ever find a picture of him, I'll post it. But for those who care, he's running in the Champagne Stakes October 8th. Don't know the channel - probably ESPN.

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/14/2005 08:39:00 PM | (0) comments

Mourning

Tonight there are fireworks.

I love fireworks. Ohmygosh, I do I do! I love the blankets on the ground! I love the dawdling dusk and building anticipation! I love the first "test" firework and the unbearable wait that follows! And then...

I love the way my heart rattles in my chest! I love the colors and the way the big ones look like 3D coming right out at you! I love to cheer for the stupid fireworks like wide eyed grinnin' fool - "Wow! Did you see that one!?!" (who didn't??? duh!)

Used to be there was a group - a group where you said things like "where d'ya wanna meet?" Now I say, "do you want to?"

I'm mourning.

I'm mourning the loss of belonging. Now I ask if I can join. I ask if there can be a group. It's no longer a given.

It doesn't mean I don't have friends. It means I don't have a group.

I'm not "one of us" - does that make sense?

Tonight I ordered a pizza, because I could not bear the thought of cooking alone for myself. Did you know you can get a large two topping for less that a medium one topping? You can. So I did. I got a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese.

I ate two slices.

The rest is in my fridge.

I don't like extra cheese. I can't taste the sauce. Anyway, what am I going to do with all that pizza? A medium could have been lunch for a couple of days, breakfast for a couple of days, trash shortly thereafter...but a large?

Staring at that pizza on my table broke something inside of me. I was going to go tonight - to the fireworks.

I was going to go alone.

But I cannot.

I've come here instead. I've come here to say this.

For three years I looked for churches, but I could find none. I sat alone in churches time after time and no I wasn't greeted or spoken to, but that's not what I was looking for. I don't mind speaking first.

I was looking to see if they loved each other.

Was there a chill in the air? The movement of the people there - were they heavy with drudgery? Were there canyons in the spaces of the pews?

The people at Little Church loved each other. They were a group. They were groups within groups with the vision of the ultimate group. The honeycomb effect - many-sided people touching many-sided people. I stayed, Little Church, because you loved each other. And I made that decision within five minutes of walking through your door.

But have you noticed? Three years later, have you noticed?

Have you noticed that my group is gone?

Obliterated?

My group has gotten more sophisticated - now we realize that we have "take time for ourselves" when we are busy with work, school and such. And of course, that must be accepted! It's healthy psychology! How dare we suggest the gathering of the saints is not to be neglected!

We've also gotten more 90210. We've had our little love triangles and bygod we must win at all cost! Win! And if you don't, make sure as hell no one else wins! Blow the whole thing apart if you don't get what you want! How dare we be reminded that the last prayer on the lips of the soon-to-be-crucified Christ was that we be "one!"

We've gotten more post-modern. Who needs all the fuss? Who needs the theology? Who needs all those doctrines? Who needs the service or the music or the kinships or the education or the struggles of relationships? Who needs work? Not us - not us indeed! Let not the words of Jesus slip through our lips, "from the time of John the Baptist until now, the Kingdom of Heaven has been forcefully advancing and forceful people lay hold of it.

Yes, I could have called you tonight.

But I could not bear to say "do you want to?"

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/09/2005 08:40:00 PM | (0) comments