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This Land Is Their Land...
This is funny - slightly off-color so if you're offended easily, don't look...
Also, if you're at work and don't want your co-workers to be offended, mute your sound. Actually, if you mute the sound, there's no point, so just wait until your co-workers are sleeping at their desk...
http://www.jibjab.com/
And someday soon, I'll write something of more substance...
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/30/2004 01:52:25 PM | (1) comments
Pre-Winter, Winter, Post-Winter, Road Construction
Relationships-
Don't ya hate it when they end up like Michigan in the summer? A lot of "suppose to be two way" but closed down to one lane...
That's all.
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/29/2004 06:22:14 PM | (0) comments
A Little Jingle Jangle
Connecting.
Dial-up,
DSL.
One's like a cheetah,
the other like a snail.
People, too, are often like that,
(When it comes to connecting),
and both seem to lack
that something it takes
to make things work.
Where one rushes in,
the other falls flat.
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/28/2004 04:15:55 PM | (0) comments
Headless Fun With Inflections
From the sushi party...
I sing for idiots.
Icing for idiots.
Thanks to the Java Goddess and Captain Wow for all the inspiration!
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/28/2004 04:00:00 PM | (0) comments
Cat Nip?
Wanna know something random and weird? Cleaning windows and mirrors has always been my favorite chore - I love that the windows are dirty and then...Ta Daa! They're clean!
I knew that about myself. And I knew that was kinda weird...
But I didn't know...
This.
I'm at work. And this girl just came and cleaned my window from the outside. She was out there cleaning, cleaning and...
I think I started purring! WEIRD! Ok, not really purring, but I Feel...So...Yummy...Inside! The only thing that has ever made me feel like this inside is when someone starts playing with your hair... You know what I mean? That warm, kind of purring feeling inside?
She's been gone (the window washer) for about 10 minutes and the feeling is fading. Gosh! I wished she'd come back! This could be addictive...!
Please don't hold it against me!
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/22/2004 02:13:14 PM | (0) comments
PWFTLJC And KFC
I hung out with some friends last night - ate some KFC and watched the "Manly Man" rip out kitchen cabinets and karate kick through plywood. Entertainment indeed! As he sweated and grunted away, I met with the leading guru of the up and coming PWFTLJCian cult - a quickly spreading religion in these parts. Perhaps we shall have a guest post from this guru in the future. Inquiring minds want to know - what is the relationship between PWFTLJCian cult and the WTFWJD crowd? Entertainment indeed, indeed!
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/22/2004 10:42:39 AM | (0) comments
A Red-Room Kind Of Girl
Remember when we were young and we used to ask each other what are favorite color was? (Blue) Who was our favorite superhero? (Wonderwoman) Favorite animal? (Horse) Favorite food? (Burritos - no beans)
Then we got older, and we would ask...
Who's your favorite singer/band? (Diana Ross)
Who's your favorite actor/actress? (Mel Gibson)
Who's your favorite team? (San Antonio Spurs)
Who's your favorite member of the opposite sex? (Joe Rountree)
And so it went.
We asked these questions of each other and of ourselves because we wanted to know who we were. We were defining ourselves.
Who are you and who am I?
You like dogs and I like horses, but we both like Wonderwoman. We are different and alike.
You like Roger. He wears boots and Wranglers. He's quite and tough. He's strong and gets dirty. He rodeos. This says something about you.
I like Joe. He wears Gap and Polo. He's outgoing and funny. He's smart and sensitive. He plays volleyball. This says something about me.
I like blue...
I first liked blue because it was opposite of pink. It wasn't sissy or frilly or weak. It was solid and strong and full.
And then I liked blue because it was deep - like the sky - eternal, forever expanding and always consistently blue, even when the clouds hid it.
And after a while, I liked blue because it was mysterious - like the ocean - concealing life and treasures from those who stand safely on the shore or stay securely on the boat.
I liked blue because it was peaceful - the background that cradles the white dove.
And then...
And then I liked green. I didn't stop liking blue, but suddenly green came alive to me. I remember when - I remember the exact moment. It was March. I was driving down Waco Drive, going from my house to Jon's, to feed E.D. (a cat - who's real name was "Evil Demon Creature", shortened to E.D.C., shortened again to E.D.). There was this clearing to my right where several condemned houses had been torn down in the past year. I had driven past these lots countless times and always I saw poverty, slumlords, homelessness, injustice...
But not this day.
This day, I saw spring. It was the first time I ever saw spring. And it was green. Flowers exploded in the most amazing colors and combinations, nestled in the most brilliant, emerald green I had ever seen. The power of life... The richness from which comes great treasure... The strength that lifts up beauty. And I fell in love with green.
What's your favorite color?
Well...I have two...I like blue and green.
So, like a turquoise?
No. I like turquoise too. But I like both blue and green.
So...turquoise is blue and green. So that would be your favorite color.
Not exactly, I have two favorites.
You can't have two favorites.
I do.
But you can't. That's not what favorite means.
We do this to ourselves, but it is an injustice. Maybe when we were five, it was fine to play the favorites game...to look across every category and judge and say this thing is the best to me and then let that be settled.
I am this way. This is who I am.
But we are not meant to be unmovable, stationary, static, stuck. We are not meant to have one favorite color. We become little people in little worlds, limiting ourselves for fear of losing ourselves. And we are right to fear. If I draw a circle in the sand and call it me...and if I then show you what it looks like when I grow, I will erase parts of the circle and draw the line further out. Do not doubt it. I have indeed destroyed a part of me - I destroyed my borders. And do not doubt this either. I have destroyed what I was - a circle two feet in diameter - and now I am more like an amoeba. Not neat and tidy, but squirting out in all directions...
I have lost my life...and saved it.
I've painted my bedroom red.
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/20/2004 09:08:54 AM | (1) comments
In The Hands Of An Angry God
Nazi Germany. A Christian nation?
Not so, according to most people in the church. We like to say things like, "Well, they called themselves Christian, but no real Christian would ever be a Nazi."
Well...don't bet on it.
Don't be surprised to meet people in the next life who were Nazis, supporters of Apartheid, southern slavery, the Inquisition, the Crusades, persecutors of Catholics, persecutors of Protestants, persecutors of "witches" and even...
Capitalists, oppressors of the poor, of children, of women, of the uneducated, of the elderly...
The point is this - don't think for a second that being a Christian is going to keep you from believing something stupid. Don't think for a second that being a Christian will keep you from being insensitive or uncaring. That is, unless you redefine "Christian." But "Christian" as we know it...
There were Christians who joined the Nazi party by the truckloads.
Why?
Because they thought they were right. Perhaps some of them never had the opportunity to learn better. Perhaps some, in the face of confrontation, turned away - afraid to give up this ideology they had so heavily invested in. Perhaps some were so blinded by promises - promises to heal Germany's collective wounds and each German's personal wounds - that they could not see the destruction barreling through their land.
Charles Williams once said, "to view everything with a delicate sense of skepticism" - even those things you hold most dear - your ideology, your religion and even...your faith. Some may balk at this - how can you view your faith with skepticism? How can you view Jesus with skepticism?
That which is True remains - not because you defend it against all doubts and close your eyes to all criticism - but inspite of all your questions.
And that, my friends, is faith.
So throw open wide and be not afraid, examine yourself and see your faults and flaws. You'll be alright in the hands of a merciful God.
And that, my friends, is also faith.
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/16/2004 08:18:33 AM | (0) comments
Things On My Head
Things I'm thinking about...
1) Acts of love are either (or both) acts of work or courage - M. Scott Peck. So, acts of "not-love" are acts of laziness and/or fear?
2) People do extraordinarily mean things to cats. Why? I know people do mean things to animals in general, but cats tend to get the short end of the stick. When I ask people why they hate cats so, the response is invariably that cats are "snobby" or "cold" or something of that nature. So that's it! In an act of transference, we direct all our anger at snobby people towards cats! Well! I'm feeling angry about all the bullies in the world, so who wants to help me throw a bull off the roof? Anyone? Hello?...
3) Madame President? I'm tired of people using the "PMS Excuse" for why we should never have a female president. First of all, by the time any female had worked her way up the political ladder, she would be at least 70 years old. If she still has PMS - I am SOR-RY for her!! She's got bigger problems than leading the free world...oh yeah she does. Second, let's talk PMS. Ok, so SOME women experience stronger emotions than usual - this does not mean ALL women. Furthermore, we all have tendencies that are less than noble, but haven't we learned by now that weaknesses overcome are often our greatest strengths? So the woman who recognizes her overly emotional pattern learns to steel her mind and will in order to do that which is right, and in so doing, develops her "weakness" into a great strength. In the end, give me a break. I wish men would just be happy with their penises and quit worrying about them - plah! grrr...
4) I just spoke with a mentally disturbed man who abused all kinds of drugs during his earlier years. He recently became a Christian and was told that his mother (who never "accepted Jesus") had gone to hell.
"Depression and suicide attempt brought to you by your local church. Contact us for all your emotional breakdown needs."
5) Hey Pat! "Aye! Sea Ewe...a rare, but beautiful creature you are...!"
6) I matter. Eye matter. Aye...matter. Aye, Matt. Errrr...(what was your name again?) I, Matt! Err...(you, Jane?).
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/15/2004 05:21:49 PM | (0) comments
Less Traveled...A Little More Worn...
I am sorry for my absence...
I have been reading books that make me tired. Have you ever read a book like that? See, my style of reading is essentially undisciplined, but not as you might expect. When I read a book, I do nothing else. I open to page one and do not put it down until I have read the last page. It is much to my consternation that I am interrupted by such menial tasks such as eating, going to the bathroom or sleeping. I have found that I am able to do the first two while reading with some success, but success in the latter still eludes me...
Regardless, I am reading M. Scott Peck's "The Road Less Traveled". It is good...and exhausting. I find myself able to read for about an hour and then I stumble to my bed and sleep for two hours, wake up and pick the book back up. It is as if my mind is working so hard that it cannot sustain any other activity but thinking and then...sleep mode.
It is not as though he is a difficult writer - in fact, I would say he is an excellent writer. It is the content - the weight of it - that exhausts me. But, I would recommend it to you. I don't agree with everything (but when have I ever?), but he has wonderful discussions on love and truth and discipline.
So forgive my absence. I am exhausted!
But just for the record, I miss you too!!!
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/12/2004 07:35:39 PM | (0) comments
Kerry / Edwards
All I have to say is...
JANUARY 22ND!!! I AM SO DANG SMART.
I KNEW that Kerry would pick Edwards for VP!! I know that many people have said it since then, but whatever... I like being arrogant...and right!
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/06/2004 10:36:18 AM | (0) comments
But What If...
But what if I could paint you a different picture?
Will we have noses in heaven? If we held our nose in heaven, would we die? So, we will have noses but they will not be necessary for sustaining life. What will be the purpose of noses then? Perhaps to smell the roses?
Will we have genitals in heaven? If we never had sex in heaven, would the human race cease to exist? So, we will have genitals but they will not be necessary for sustaining life. What will be the purpose of genitals then? Perhaps to physically love one another?
And what if I could paint you this picture?
What if before the fall, when our times stretched eternal, and we knew nothing of separation, rejection, possessiveness or neglect, we were free to develop deep intimate relationships in the oneness of humanity without the restraints of time and sin?
What if marriage is like the Law? What if it is in place due to our sinful natures? And the nature of our current existence?
See, today, if I were to marry, I would live, at best, 60 or so years with this man. In 60 years, I could never know all of him. First, because every person is too rich and deep to be fully known in such a short amount of time. Second, because he would be changing and growing. Third, because I am fallen and the sin in my life would prevent me from seeing him clearly. And so God, in his wisdom and love, sees our predicament and gives us marriage to help us out - one person for this lifetime - learn the art of love - baby steps. Perhaps like he gave the ancient Hebrews food regulations to help them out in the midst of pagan cultures.
And what if the example of marriage is used by Paul to describe Jesus' relationship to the church because in that culture it reflected protection, provision, love and intimacy? But when has Jesus' relationship with the church ever been exclusive? Is he not the one who leaves the 99 to seek the one?
What if I could paint a picture...
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/01/2004 10:06:05 AM | (0) comments
White Dog In A Black Car
There is a white fluffy dog, barking incessantly, locked in a black car with the windows up. I intend to watch this car for all of five minutes and then I shall calmly remove the windshield with the baseball bat I have in the trunk of my car.
posted by Headless-in-GR @ 7/01/2004 09:52:29 AM | (0) comments
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